brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
