oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
