do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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