Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
