I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
