I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
