that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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