I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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