He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
