isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
