Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
