So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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