I just made out with a guy for $7.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
