you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
