i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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