This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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