I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
