my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize