Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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