why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Randomize
