I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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