Cold hands, warm shart.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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