Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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