Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
