White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
