she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
