How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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