my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
