Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
