She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
