What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
