she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
