nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
