If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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