I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Shame is for Republicans.
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