Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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