Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
