If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
