dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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