apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
