I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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