how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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