I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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