Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
