PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
