You really coming over, don't trick.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize