so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I skipped work to stalk him.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Randomize
