So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
How's work?
Spinning.
did i walk over a car last night?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
