Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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