I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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