You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
