Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
