We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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