I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
