Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
