I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
