This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
