I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
