Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize