But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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