It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
