I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
