Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
