the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
