I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
